IS THIS THE PART WHERE WE START KICKING?
definitely no baked goods!!!

definitely no baked goods!!!

shelby: i really want to draw a comic of karkat hating john for half an hour shelby: and then john was like “hey you want a stick of gum, jerk?” tzm: crying tzm: in middle school shelby: YOU’RE OKAY, EGBERT. tzm: karkat just tzm: chews the gum tzm: at first angrily tzm: then tzm: he’s okay with it shelby: but i’d like to imagine he fell in love with john gradually and terribly tzm: yes tzm: john’s at first just tzm: some annoyance tzm: with gum tzm: who sits next to him tzm: in science tzm: and then he takes DRUM MAJOR position and karkat HATES HIM but  tzm: it’s not VIRULENT HATE it’s just tzm: AVERAGE HATE shelby: AND HE’S JUST ALWAYS AROUND tzm: JUST BEING THERE shelby: AND WHEN THEY WERE BOTH SHORT AND BRACES JOHN WENT STAG WITH HIM TO THE DANCE POST BREAKUP AND THAT WAS NICE tzm: YEAH tzm: AND THEN THEY GO TO MOVIES NOBODY ELSE WANTS TO SEE tzm: BECAUSE OTHER PEOPLE ARE TASTELESS BUTTFUCKS shelby: AND SOMEHOW THEY’RE IN ALL THE SAME CLASSES tzm: AND TEXTING AT 9 PM? shelby: YES shelby: AND HANGING OUT AFTER BAND PRACTICE TO DO HOMEWORK shelby: (oops almost typed homestuck) tzm: ahsdfhalsdf tzm: and you know then suddenly they’re sort of…………………… buddies tzm: barely tzm: hate buddies shelby: karkat plz tzm: someone’s got to make sure john doesn’t get his huge buck teeth caught in mechanisms shelby: because he’s an idiot who didn’t wear his retainer tzm: yes exactly shelby: but somehow it just…..adds to his charm shelby: and then one day karkat wakes up and is like OH MY GOD and then is life is ruined tzm: i think it’s the day that like tzm: everything happens as per normal tzm: and then john starts feeding karkat fries tzm: because karkat is too sad to put them in his own mouth for some reason tzm: and john knows innately that fries will cure him shelby: yes shelby: yes tzm: and it’s like oh my god tzm: OH MY GOD tzm: I MUST CURE THIS IMMEDIATELY tzm: he goes through all the grieving stages shelby: does he almost bite john’s hand off by mistake while in mid-fry realization tzm: yes tzm: yes tzm: and john’s like haha, whoa there shelby: and karkat’s like SHIT ARE YOU OKAY? tzm: yes tzm: john is tzm: bleeding shelby: WAIT WHAT IS HE EVEN SAYING tzm: lightly tzm: then they apply bandaids tzm: karkat is totally befuddled and panicking tzm: he is in the first stage tzm: denial: NO THIS CAN’T BE HAPPENING I PROBABLY JUST HAVE……. SICKNESS tzm: FUCK YES. SICKNESS. I AM DYING, THAT’S WHAT. GET ME TO THE NURSE. shelby: sdhfsdhf shelby: THE NEXT STAGE: ANGER tzm: FUCK YOU JOHN tzm: FUCK YOUR FACE. shelby: TENDERLY. WAIT, NO. tzm: lasdnfkasnflksnaf tzm: crying tzm: then bargaining tzm: MAYBE IF I LEAVE MARCHING BAND, GIVE MY HEART TO THE MIRTHFUL MESSIAHS AND SWAP SCHOOLS, THAT WILL FIX THIS shelby: I’LL NEVER GRIPE TO MR. NOIR EVER AGAIN. tzm: I’LL BE GOOD. NARY A SWEAR WORD WILL FALL OUT MY RAGEHOLE. shelby: DEPRESSION: THIS ONE LASTS FOR A WHILE tzm: yes tzm: yes tzm: he even misses tzm: school one day tzm: he eats a lot of icecream tzm: and tries to process tzm: his life shelby: HIS TUMMY HURTS, OKAY shelby: HE CAN’T MAKE IT tzm: crabdad is worried shelby: you shouldn’t be eating ice cream when you’re sick tzm: he hides it in a chiller under his bed shelby: sdfhdfskh shelby: hiding under the covers watching serendipity on a laptop  shelby: THIS IS WHAT IT’S SUPPOSED TO BE LIKE, RIGHT HERE tzm: I CAN’T EVEN HAVE THAT. tzm: LOVE IS OVER. shelby: HE’S GOING TO CANCEL HIS SHITTY WEDDING BUT JOHN WON’T BE THERE WITH A GLOVE IN THE ICE SKATING RINK shelby: HE’LL BE IN THE HETEROSEXUAL ICE SKATING RINK tzm: lknlkdnslanfkd tzm: SKATING…. HETEROSEXUALLY shelby: is that even a thing you can do tzm: no shelby: he’s wearing an ice skating outfit and everything shelby: and then he reaches the saddest acceptance stage of all shelby: and everything sucks tzm: yes tzm: he has to live tzm: the rest of his life tzm: loving this guy tzm: it’s terminal tzm: he can do nothing tzm: but prepare for it shelby: and this is all in like shelby: freshman year tzm: yes tzm: it’s a tumultuous time shelby: and john’s realizing he doesn’t like vriska in a kissing way maybe??? everything is confusing  shelby: and terrible tzm: oh god they have tzm: the most tzm: awful first kiss tzm: because they don’t feel anything tzm: they have been leading up tzm: to this kiss tzm: and it is like kissing……… your sister shelby: it’s just like ::::| shelby: BUT THEY LOVE EACH OTHER SO MUCH tzm: they do tzm: desperately tzm: but they just want to snuggle each other next to a warm fire and brush each other’s hair tzm: so they come out as….. moirails! tzm: surprising kanaya not one bit shelby: Kanaya constantly glaring at John during the first week of high school tzm: when nobody’s looking tzm: she quietly raises one hand tzm: silently does the tzm: “i will cut you” movement shelby: sdfjsf kanaya plz shelby: then she notices how miserable karkat is and everything goes better than expected, i guess tzm: yes tzm: she gets distracted tzm: with what a complete disaster karkat is shelby: a beautiful disaster shelby: and then one day he tells her the next time she feels like killing to just have a stick of gum tzm: lnfdslanfkls tzm: THEY SIT THERE tzm: CHEWING tzm: DOLEFULLY shelby: and karkat remembers how john gave him gum once tzm: then they awkwardly hug shelby: this is the greatest love story ever told shelby: come to life on broadway

shelby: i really want to draw a comic of karkat hating john for half an hour
shelby: and then john was like “hey you want a stick of gum, jerk?”
tzm: crying
tzm: in middle school
shelby: YOU’RE OKAY, EGBERT.
tzm: karkat just
tzm: chews the gum
tzm: at first angrily
tzm: then
tzm: he’s okay with it
shelby: but i’d like to imagine he fell in love with john gradually and terribly
tzm: yes
tzm: john’s at first just
tzm: some annoyance
tzm: with gum
tzm: who sits next to him
tzm: in science
tzm: and then he takes DRUM MAJOR position and karkat HATES HIM but
tzm: it’s not VIRULENT HATE it’s just
tzm: AVERAGE HATE
shelby: AND HE’S JUST ALWAYS AROUND
tzm: JUST BEING THERE
shelby: AND WHEN THEY WERE BOTH SHORT AND BRACES JOHN WENT STAG WITH HIM TO THE DANCE POST BREAKUP AND THAT WAS NICE
tzm: YEAH
tzm: AND THEN THEY GO TO MOVIES NOBODY ELSE WANTS TO SEE
tzm: BECAUSE OTHER PEOPLE ARE TASTELESS BUTTFUCKS
shelby: AND SOMEHOW THEY’RE IN ALL THE SAME CLASSES
tzm: AND TEXTING AT 9 PM?
shelby: YES
shelby: AND HANGING OUT AFTER BAND PRACTICE TO DO HOMEWORK
shelby: (oops almost typed homestuck)
tzm: ahsdfhalsdf
tzm: and you know then suddenly they’re sort of…………………… buddies
tzm: barely
tzm: hate buddies
shelby: karkat plz
tzm: someone’s got to make sure john doesn’t get his huge buck teeth caught in mechanisms
shelby: because he’s an idiot who didn’t wear his retainer
tzm: yes exactly
shelby: but somehow it just…..adds to his charm
shelby: and then one day karkat wakes up and is like OH MY GOD and then is life is ruined
tzm: i think it’s the day that like
tzm: everything happens as per normal
tzm: and then john starts feeding karkat fries
tzm: because karkat is too sad to put them in his own mouth for some reason
tzm: and john knows innately that fries will cure him
shelby: yes
shelby: yes
tzm: and it’s like oh my god
tzm: OH MY GOD
tzm: I MUST CURE THIS IMMEDIATELY
tzm: he goes through all the grieving stages
shelby: does he almost bite john’s hand off by mistake while in mid-fry realization
tzm: yes
tzm: yes
tzm: and john’s like haha, whoa there
shelby: and karkat’s like SHIT ARE YOU OKAY?
tzm: yes
tzm: john is
tzm: bleeding
shelby: WAIT WHAT IS HE EVEN SAYING
tzm: lightly
tzm: then they apply bandaids
tzm: karkat is totally befuddled and panicking
tzm: he is in the first stage
tzm: denial: NO THIS CAN’T BE HAPPENING I PROBABLY JUST HAVE……. SICKNESS
tzm: FUCK YES. SICKNESS. I AM DYING, THAT’S WHAT. GET ME TO THE NURSE.
shelby: sdhfsdhf
shelby: THE NEXT STAGE: ANGER
tzm: FUCK YOU JOHN
tzm: FUCK YOUR FACE.
shelby: TENDERLY. WAIT, NO.
tzm: lasdnfkasnflksnaf
tzm: crying
tzm: then bargaining
tzm: MAYBE IF I LEAVE MARCHING BAND, GIVE MY HEART TO THE MIRTHFUL MESSIAHS AND SWAP SCHOOLS, THAT WILL FIX THIS
shelby: I’LL NEVER GRIPE TO MR. NOIR EVER AGAIN.
tzm: I’LL BE GOOD. NARY A SWEAR WORD WILL FALL OUT MY RAGEHOLE.
shelby: DEPRESSION: THIS ONE LASTS FOR A WHILE
tzm: yes
tzm: yes
tzm: he even misses
tzm: school one day
tzm: he eats a lot of icecream
tzm: and tries to process
tzm: his life
shelby: HIS TUMMY HURTS, OKAY
shelby: HE CAN’T MAKE IT
tzm: crabdad is worried
shelby: you shouldn’t be eating ice cream when you’re sick
tzm: he hides it in a chiller under his bed
shelby: sdfhdfskh
shelby: hiding under the covers watching serendipity on a laptop
shelby: THIS IS WHAT IT’S SUPPOSED TO BE LIKE, RIGHT HERE
tzm: I CAN’T EVEN HAVE THAT.
tzm: LOVE IS OVER.
shelby: HE’S GOING TO CANCEL HIS SHITTY WEDDING BUT JOHN WON’T BE THERE WITH A GLOVE IN THE ICE SKATING RINK
shelby: HE’LL BE IN THE HETEROSEXUAL ICE SKATING RINK
tzm: lknlkdnslanfkd
tzm: SKATING…. HETEROSEXUALLY
shelby: is that even a thing you can do
tzm: no
shelby: he’s wearing an ice skating outfit and everything
shelby: and then he reaches the saddest acceptance stage of all
shelby: and everything sucks
tzm: yes
tzm: he has to live
tzm: the rest of his life
tzm: loving this guy
tzm: it’s terminal
tzm: he can do nothing
tzm: but prepare for it
shelby: and this is all in like
shelby: freshman year
tzm: yes
tzm: it’s a tumultuous time
shelby: and john’s realizing he doesn’t like vriska in a kissing way maybe??? everything is confusing
shelby: and terrible
tzm: oh god they have
tzm: the most
tzm: awful first kiss
tzm: because they don’t feel anything
tzm: they have been leading up
tzm: to this kiss
tzm: and it is like kissing……… your sister
shelby: it’s just like ::::|
shelby: BUT THEY LOVE EACH OTHER SO MUCH
tzm: they do
tzm: desperately
tzm: but they just want to snuggle each other next to a warm fire and brush each other’s hair
tzm: so they come out as….. moirails!
tzm: surprising kanaya not one bit
shelby: Kanaya constantly glaring at John during the first week of high school
tzm: when nobody’s looking
tzm: she quietly raises one hand
tzm: silently does the
tzm: “i will cut you” movement
shelby: sdfjsf kanaya plz
shelby: then she notices how miserable karkat is and everything goes better than expected, i guess
tzm: yes
tzm: she gets distracted
tzm: with what a complete disaster karkat is
shelby: a beautiful disaster
shelby: and then one day he tells her the next time she feels like killing to just have a stick of gum
tzm: lnfdslanfkls
tzm: THEY SIT THERE
tzm: CHEWING
tzm: DOLEFULLY
shelby: and karkat remembers how john gave him gum once
tzm: then they awkwardly hug
shelby: this is the greatest love story ever told
shelby: come to life on broadway

(ps! teen drinking is bad.)

(ps! teen drinking is bad.)

color guard is in his blood

color guard is in his blood